Don't you worry girl.

A life lesson, frozen in time from an Instagram post.

As I write this, I am sitting on our back patio couch with my feet comfortably propped up, watching Ross play in the yard and enjoying the last bit of daylight on this beautiful Sunday evening. You see, I’ve been reflecting back on the very exciting, nerve-wracking, and unknown season of life in the Spring/Summer of 2017; when I graduated college and had no idea what I was going to do next.

I had achieved my academic goals and was set to graduate from the best university with a GPA that I was so proud of. Not to mention I was waist deep in the depths of wedding planning (which was so fun for me). But instead of enjoying all the excitement of that season, I was so caught up in figuring out the “what next” that I forgot to make the most of “what’s now”.

I had applied for what seemed like an endless amount of jobs, with little to no luck what-so-ever, and I was so. stinkin. worried. As July approached and our wedding countdown dwindled to 4 months, the panic began to settle in. I was so desperate for a job that I came close to settling for something part-time in retail. Just for the “security” of some income.

Now, if it came down to it, I would’ve done what I had to do. But I’m so thankful the Lord decided to speak to me one morning as I enjoyed a cup of iced coffee by the pool in College Station. I sat by the pool, with my bible open and the condensation from the cup pooling on the concrete beside me. The Lord spoke to me, and although I was still worried that I didn’t have it all figured out, I felt a peace come over me. The moment still remains vivid in my memory because I made an Instagram post about it. A moment and revelation captured:

“Lately I've been feeling really discouraged about the whole job hunting process and it has been slowly chipping away all my confidence in myself and trust in the Lord's plan. But I'm so thankful that the Lord used my slow morning by the pool to remind me that His will for my life is more relational than it is geographical or occupational. I've never felt the saying "the devil is in the details" to be more true. My focus shouldn't be 100% on the details of where I'm going next but how I can be a servant where I'm at right now.”

And wow. I think God put these memories on my heart because I needed to remind myself of that message from two years ago. Looking back, I know everything worked out according to His plan, and even better than I could have even imagined.

I never could have imagined that I would get a job at a marketing agency in Longview. Heck, I didn’t even know Longview HAD any marketing agencies. I never could have imagined the skills I would develop from working where I do now. I never could have imagined having such awesome co-workers that make work fun. And I never could have imagined that finding employment in Longview would mean the opportunity to invest in a home so early on in our marriage.

Last weekend my family took a camping trip together. It was our first camping trip with the five of us in well over 5 years and the very first camping trip with the extra boys who started hanging around ;) While we were on a hike, I noticed that I wasn’t taking in as much of the scenery as I would have liked. At one point I said to my mom “I’m too busy looking down at where I’m walking that I forget to look up at all the beauty around us”. When you’re hiking a rocky trail, it’s so easy to only be focused on your next step. Eventually, when the trail comes to an end, you realize that you didn’t appreciate any of the beauty along the way because you were so worried about tripping or where you were going to step next.

And I think that concept often applies to many journeys we take in life; like focusing solely on the fact that I couldn’t find employment and missing the bigger picture; that God had something great in store for me in His timing, and that those few months were a gift, a calm before the storm. Because I was so focused on where I was going (or not going), I missed the opportunity to make the most of what was around me - sweet solitude before entering the “adult world” of working full time.

I’m sure I thanked God a million times when I finally got a job offer that September (fun fact: I was actually hiking at the very same place when I accepted that job offer in 2017, funny how things work sometimes). But after reading that caption almost two years later, I was reminded once again to not be focused on the minute details of life, but rather focus on how I can be His servant and show His love, no matter what I’m doing in the moment. Now, as I sit on our patio and enjoy this slow evening, I want to be intentional about not losing sight of the bigger picture. I want my life to be full of the moments where I look up and appreciate where I’m at and less full of the moments where I’m looking down and wondering where I’m going next. And if I could, I would go back in time to that summer of anxiety and tell myself “Don’t you worry girl, it’s all gonna be just fine”.